I had the great fortune of working with two amazing writers on national television last week, including Hilary Black, the editor of an amazing book, The Secret Currency of Love. If you missed the show, ask yourself, 'What is the secret currency of love?' Well, I can tell you it's not sex, good communication, or gifts, as most would guess. It's money.

Some of you probably grew up with mothers, aunts, or sisters that would say, 'It's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor one.' The role of money in relationships is long, complicated, and all too frequently too silent. Conflicts over money or financial issues are the number one cause of marital distress. Yet when most couples get married, they never talk about the debt they are bringing to the relationship, their spending habits, or attitudes about money. It's no wonder that tensions run high in relationships over finances. 

Money touches more emotional feelings than you can imagine. Currency, dinero or dollars can confer power, freedom, love, and/or security. Many of us confuse financial security with emotional security and fulfillment. But it is hard to get a good hug from a bankroll. 

Let's try and understand the role that money plays in our relationships. Talk about it without feeling guillty or envious, depressed or angry, and start an open dialogue with  your spouse.