Every year when Father's Day rolls around I find myself reminiscing -- not over what wonderful memories I have about spending time with a great Dad, but rather the sadness I have felt over the years about never being called 'Daddy’s little girl.'

My mother and father got divorced when I was six years old. I remember my dad standing in the doorway, suitcase in hand, telling me he would get in touch. He soon remarried and had two children. His getting in touch consisted of minimal calls with months and years in between. He would ask 'how are you girl?' I often wondered if he had forgotten my name.

My mother attempted to be both father and mother, and would chastise me when I asked about my father or tried to understand his inability to connect. Her standard answer was 'well you have me.' Yes I had her, but it never made up for the yearning I had and still have to have had a father.

Oh, this isn't just let me fill you in with my longings and regrets, because I was fortunate to have a grandfather who was involved in my life, but it never totally filled the gap. He helped to make up for what I felt I had not been gifted with. But great fathers help girls choose great partners. If they are actively involved in their daughters' lives and show their strengths and sensitivities they can make it much easier for a woman to find someone that will be value driven and family oriented. When you have not had that male modeling you often choose men who do not have the goods, and you spin your wheels trying to provide them with the information.

I often counsel individuals to 'find the bless in the mess,' and if there is one constant for me it is that I have two fabulous sons, who are amazing parents. I have watched them tend to their children as I would have liked to have been tended to: with compassion, tenderness and humor. And so for me Father's Day may not be my favorite day, but it is one that brings me pride in joy in having helped create sons who are the epitome of fatherhood.